May 7, 2015

Jake Smith

 

Age: 37
From: Bratislava
Favorite Game: The crying game
Number of Board Games Owned: 12
Occupation: Professor of Art, Ferrum College

 

Player Description:

Smith was born in a rural town outside of the central city of Bratislava. At an early age his intelligence astounded all that he came to know. Smith was accepted into the prestigious “Soviet Institute of Advanced Physics and Theoretical Studies” at the age of seven. By age eleven he was the leading research fellow at Barendorf University where he lead research into time manipulation and advanced taurus theory. This research led to advancements in third world food production and his nomination for his first of five Nobel Prizes.

By age Eighteen Smith was tired of physics and began his study of contemporary art. He was accepted to the prestigious Bates and Masters university in Wrist Germany. His work was soon accepted into the Venice Biannale, where he was hailed as the preeminent artist of the day. By age 24 his work would be found in each and every top tier gallery and museum in the world and his place in history secure.

Growing tired of the constant requests for interviews and speaking engagements Jake entered his reclusive years. He moved to Cambodia and bought a 1000 acre parcel of land which he had fenced and guarded. Smith, or “Admiral Pickenberry” as he would become known, spent the next four years naked and wild in the jungle developing his survival skills. The native population has claimed he tamed and rode a fully grown tiger that he had trained to walk on two feet and eat only vegetables with its gold teeth.

After this time in Cambodia Smith returned to the public eye as he began training as a freediver, eventually setting seven world records. While freediving a cave in Costa Rica he discovered a submerged cavern which contained to lost exploration party sent forth by Cortes. His discovery led to a greater understanding of the pre-Colombian mezoamerican cultures and their practice of submerged burial.

Smith was awarded the presidential medal of freedom for this discovery. While attending the ceremony an assassin attempted to take the life of the former President. Smith instinctively jumped into the path of the bullet saving the presidents life and tackling the assailant in the process. In a later interview when asked about the incident, Smith claimed that this was the only thing in his entire life he regretted since it allowed for the president’s invasion of Iraq and the death of hundreds of thousands of innocents.

Smith moved to Washington DC in 2003 where he returned to the art world a more humble and secure person. His work was more critical and focused on our cultural challenges. Some say that this time reflected a darkness in his soul and he found himself facing the loss of a grandfather, father and wife all in short succession. He would leave the capital and retreat to the small city of Roanoke Virginia where he ran a sculpture studio producing roadside attractions and museum exhibits.

In 2012 Smith took on the role of educator once again at a small college in the hills of Franklin county. His life is calm and quiet now and his former glory has faded to humility.

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Player Stats:

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